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kofender
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(Speaks in Parentheses; Punctuation Abuser)
To cut to the chase (if you just want the sex and guts so to speak), I'm just not always a 'let's jump into bed right now' kind of guy—but I do make exceptions. I might view your profile a few times before I work up the nerve to write you (for a supposed extrovert, I can be rather shy).

I lost my partner of 23 years to cancer in March 2008 (life happens, not always in a good way). I've made new friends since then, but I'm open to more. And this means I welcome friendships, FWBs, FBs, NSAs, and all those other initials (well, not FF, WS, SM, BD-this little body can stand just so much, you know). And I'm DDF/HIV-, just in case you were wondering. (When DID we become a whirlwind of initials?)

I love the theatre and go when I can (I'm always looking for someone to go with me, too). I'm well-read, articulate, erudite, witty, ready to discuss nearly any subject, and mostly vegetarian. I've been an art critic, a boxing writer, a restaurant reviewer, a theatre critic, a television reviewer (proud to be declared persona non grata by NBC), a card store owner, and a travel writer. I do not live to have regrets over things I should have done (no 'what ifs' or 'if onlys' for me).

Oh yes, since you asked (or maybe you didn't but you might) I can host. If you are interested in size (I'm more of an 'it's not the meat, it's the motion' man myself), it's 6.5 inches (why lie when this is easily verified in person?) and somewhat thick (I've been told this by others; it's not my claim).

Full disclosure: I have been known to walk with a cane at times (not always, and now nearly not at all since I moved to PS) due to a mysterious medical malady (40 doctors, no goddamn idea what's wrong after 12 years; don't get me started). I try not to let my malaise stop me from doing things (okay, I'm not running the marathon). And I am open to suggestions.

I know many men have 'types' and I do not fall within their range. I'm not chubby nor wildly hairy (some but not a lot). As for me, I tend to like men. My major requirement is for them to be breathing and intelligent (is that too much to ask?). And I must be honest (it's an absolute requirement I make of myself and I hope for in others), I do worry about men who don't attend to their own health (you know who you are—take the damn pills your doctor prescribed even if you don't feel any different; sorry, that's a personal soapbox I've been known to climb on occasion).

Still more (does he NEVER stop?): I am very oral and I love to cuddle. I am a huge fan of the (seemingly lost) art of kissing, though sucking cock and being sucked is nature's ambrosia, in my humble opinion. I've topped. I've bottomed. I've done many things in between (I'm still waiting for the video to be released). And I've enjoyed them all, too (safely, of course).

I tend to write and talk in parentheses (as you might have noticed by now, hence the headline), and I do digress a bit (ergo the parentheses so I know when to return from my digression). I'm on the waiting list at the Betty Ford Clinic for punctuation abuse since there is no 12-step program in this zip code. I also love ellipses... they come in so handy (but so do parentheses). I once had a wild affair with an ampersand, but he kept insisting on adding more to the proceedings. That damn asterisk always took me straight to the bottom (stupid footnotes). The comma was so common, but the period always got right to the point. A high colon-ic might be in order. And that half-wit semi-colon is totally dependent on the independent clause. (Okay, I'll stop abusing punctuation now.)

If any of this sounds interesting, please feel free to write back here. I moved to Palm Springs recently and work in healthcare communications (a/k/a pimping for the pharmaceutical companies) in New Jersey (ah, the joys of telecommuting and living on east coast time in California). I've been writing professionally since I was 14 years old. (Ah, so that's why he writes so much!) Also, I'm a stickler for grammar and spelling (proofreading is a good thing, too).

(A true aside here: I've never seen so many married and/or partnered men posting on these sites as I've seen since I moved to Palm Springs. I don't mind this. I do wonder if your husband or partner knows what you're doing. Sometimes he does, I'm sure. But if it's cool with you, then I'm not going to judge. I'm just making an observation. Update: I'm beginning to wonder if there are ANY single men in this town. Every time I think I've found one it turns out he has a partner with whom he hasn't had sex in [fill in the blank] years. So much for gay men being promiscuous and fucking like bunnies.)

If I have dropped you a line I would greatly appreciate the courtesy of a response—even if it's to tell me we have nothing in common, go away, get lost, go to hell, or let's meet (which would be nice and I'd welcome it, of course; coffee more than drinks, though I do imbibe on occasion; is Koffi the only place where people go in this town?). Maybe we can even abuse punctuation in public! (It's not even a minor misdemeanor in California anymore; I'm not sure about elsewhere.) Really, I was raised to respect manners, and it is rude not to provide at least the courtesy of a reply. I always do; I just wish others would as well. (I know, again I'm asking too much-breathing, brains and good manners.)

If you've made it this far, I salute your fortitude and stamina. It's a (very) long profile (it's been called a 19th century Russian novel without the patronymics-like War and Peace but you know who's who), but it should answer all the major questions. If it doesn't, I can always write more. (No. Stop. Give your fingers a rest. I'm getting eye strain.)

Finally (and being serious for the moment), I have seen and done quite a lot in my life. As Sondheim wrote in 1970, 'Good times and bum times, I've seen them all and my dear, I'm still here.' (Okay, yet another semi-requirement: know who Stephen Sondheim is, or at least know West Side Story and/or Send in the Clowns; extra 'Sondheim is God' points if you've seen Road Show.) A month after my partner died, a very wise man gave me three words of advice and I've tried to live by them ever since: 'MAKE NEW MEMORIES.' Are you the one who is going to help me make new memories? Just wondering... If you are, please contact ASAP; operators are standing by and we are none of us getting any younger you know (he says, tapping his feet and twiddling his...thumbs-did you think I was twiddling something else?).

Michael (label pending FDA approval; NDA on file; indication TBD)
CityState/Country My Distance
PALM SPRINGS  California  US mi./ km.
seeking
Sexuality Gay sexual
Prefers
Astrological sign Practical and prudent, Ambitious and disciplined, Patient and careful, Humorous and reserved
Pessimistic and fatalistic, Miserly and grudging
Age 70
Height 5 ft/5 in - 5 ft/6 in (164-168 cm)
Weight 150 lbs, 68 kg, 10.7 stone
Primary interestHook-Ups 
PhysiqueAverage 
Sexually isIrrelevant 
Ethnic origin/race<unspecified> 
age match 25 to 75 years old
Safe sexNo preference 
KinkyExperimenting 
Is seekingRelationship 
Languages English
Last login 9 yrs
Last update 9 yrs
Date joined 9 yrs
Taking PREP No

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